<Curse of the Iron Whisk> is an Australian/NZ raiding guild on Barthilas horde. We raid twice a week with a focus on clearing Heroic modes, in order to do challenging content in a relaxed, drama-free atmosphere, and without the roster obligations of Mythic.
The guild previously raided for several years on Blackrock-US, under the bizarre name <IM AN APPLE PIE>. Our core raided 25-mans in TBC and WotLK and heroic 10-mans in Cata. Although we didn't raid in MoP, we returned for Warlords of Draenor and Legion. We are laid-back but knowledgeable, using a combination of research, patience and good humour to clear heroic modes and to have a good time. Read more about us here.
News updates have been affected by the Legion's return – most updates can now be found on our Discord server (which doubles as our VOIP and website in one) instead of here. If you're interested in joining the guild, this site is still active as a recruitment tool, but the discussion is on our Discord.
Archimonde the Defiler, vice-chairdemon of the Burning Legion, has announced that the Legion are withdrawing all green energy investments from the planet Draenor, in favour of looming investments in the world of Azeroth.
It won’t be the first time that Archimonde has turned his attention to Azeroth, and his previous business ventures there have had mixed results. He is most famous for attempting to to cut down the World Tree in Hyjal, a move which puzzled conservationists and was ultimately defeated by a union of wisps. On the other hand, Archimonde is also famous for tearing down the outdated infrastructure used by the city of Dalaran, leading to the city shifting from fossil fuels to wind power.
To avoid similar controversies from occurring again, Archimonde has assured investors that he will be taking a back seat in the green energy business, and has personally appointed the trusted warlock Gul’dan to begin the Legion’s business venture in his stead.
Heroic Archimonde (2nd kill Sunday 29 November 2015)
A high-ranking Pit Lord in the Burning Legion known as Mannoroth the Destructor has himself been destructed – for the third time. The first two occasions had the same reported cause of death, and both were widely acknowledged as the work of Grommash Hellscream. However, the first report of Mannoroth’s death is treated with some doubt, since it occurred on a different planet, in a different timeline, and allegedly killed Grom Hellscream in the process.
Given that Grom Hellscream was recently in Hellfire Citadel for negotiations with Fel Lord Zachary Uun, he is considered a person of interest for this third destruction of Mannoroth. This time, though, it is noted that the Pit Lord was not slain by the usual application of Gorehowl to the forehead.
Heroic Mannoroth (Sunday 29 November 2015)
Hellfire Citadel’s resident spacegoat paladin, Tyrant Velhari, has made a series of dramatic and rapid-fire changes of career direction which finally culminated in her career ending for good.
She began her vacillation by abandoning her devotion to the Naaru, choosing to take on a Legion-inspired fel theme instead. She carried multiple weapons and shields at all times to suit different behaviours, possibly due to external pressures from colleagues – who were allegedly always coercing her to be ready to switch to a healing spec at a moment’s notice. Velhari's indecision reached breaking point when she began rapidly change specs, even during heated combat.
In accordance with various Legion policies, Velhari’s usage of seals, auras and other unacceptable mechanics have led to her being forced to reroll. It is expected that she, much like everyone else, will reroll to a demon hunter.
Heroic Tyrant Velhari (Thu 12 Nov)
You receive loot: [Instruction Manual: Heroic Soulbound Construct]
Congratulations on your purchase of the Heroic Soulbound Construct! This gleaming, multipurpose device is perfect for enabling the soul of a fallen eredar warrior to continue indefinite service in their chosen occupation – whether that be mausoleum guardian, city peacekeeper or extreme butler. It’s just like a protoss dragoon!
The Heroic Soulbound Construct has an extremely easy piloting system, so just about anyone can jump in and start controlling it!*
*NOTE: The manufacturers are not responsible for any hostile piloting events. Please do not leave the Construct unattended.
Heroic Socrethar the Eternal (Thu 12 Nov 2015)
Hellfire Citadel has encountered a serious setback in their attempts to create a hybrid energy solution comprising both fel energy and void energy. One of the Gul'dan's experiments, the amalgamation Xhul’horac, went into total meltdown and is “no longer functioning” according to a press release.
Protestors from the “Reclaim the Void” movement, who oppose any integration between fel and void energies among demons, have celebrated the meltdown as a victory, but Gul’dan is still rumoured to be in favour of multidemonism in the Burning Legion.
Heroic Xhul'horac (Thursday 8 October 2015)
Mr Zack Uun, a Fel Lord serving in Hellfire Citadel, has been sent back to the Twisting Nether for an indefinite time-out after a heated argument with Grommash Hellscream. Mr Hellscream, chieftain of the Warsong clan, was reportedly completely unwilling to change his position in regard to whether orcs will ever be slaves, in addition to being completely unable to change his position in Mr Uun’s Legion-designed guest armchair.
However, the warlock Gul’dan, owner and CEO of Hellfire Citadel, has called Hellscream’s stance on slavery “hypocritical”. The original Iron Horde – which Hellscream played a key role in uniting before it became a fully owned subsidiary of the Burning Legion – was intent on building what is known as the “Dark Portal” for the sole purpose of enslaving another world. Nonetheless, commentators have argued that Hellscream’s position on slavery was only about orcs never being slaves, and that the jury is still out in regard to gnomes.
Heroic Fel Lord Zakuun (Sun 4 Oct 2015)
Draenic-style Shadow-Roasted Arakkoa
Cooking time: 7 minutes and 2 seconds
1. Pre-heat your DPS oven with a 25-second pull timer, and apply pre-potions at the last second.
2. Separate the arakkoa lord from the Eye of Anzu using your two tank utensils.
3. Begin chopping the arakkoa with melee dps utensils from the back, while applying magic damage evenly on the front and side areas. Include a few dashes of poison from your hunter or rogue utensils for extra flavour.
4. Avoid letting the fel fire or fel chakrams get too close to your hands or utensils! Use a strong fan to cool down your utensils periodically with breezing winds.
5. Put arrakoa lord away into the oven, and gather all additional side ingredients together. Mix together and chop finely, letting your healer utensils clean away any dirt and fel bombs.
6. Take arakkoa lord out of oven, and repeat steps 3–5 two more times. Use your tank utensils to tenderise some of the extra side ingredients, and don’t forget to add in your second potion!
7. Once you’ve finished with all the extra side ingredients, your arakkoa lord should be almost done. To serve, finish off with some final melee carving and a little spell-damage garnish. Then it’s time to enjoy your Draenic-style Shadow-Roasted Arakkoa!
Utensils used: (Heroic Shadow-Lord Iskar, Thursday 27 August 2015)
Once a healthy young orc warlock, Teron’gor was a member of the shadow council who took a post in the Auchindoun mausoleum in Talador. It is said that he formed poor eating habits after consuming thousands of space goat souls there, and after transferring to Hellfire Citadel, his chronic overeating continued unabated. Teron’gor rejected Hellfire Citadel’s “green” office culture, shunning the organic kale milkshake drip used by his late colleague Kilrogg Deadeye.
In light of Teron'gor's untimely death, Hellfire Citadel plans to encourage more healthy eating among its employees, with recipes for mar’gok salad and roast arakkoa to be distributed to all remaining staff.
Heroic Gorefiend kill (Sunday 9 August 2015)
The chieftain of the Bleeding Hollow clan, Kilrogg Deadeye, has passed away after an out-of-control party in Hellfire Citadel. His death appears to be the result of a bizarre ritual as well as possible substance abuse. The chieftain was last seen trying to impress other partygoers by asking them to “gaze into [his] eyes”, and then taking his missing eyeball out of his pocket, all while trying to get everyone to drink mysterious green liquid in order to have “visions”.
Another orc’s remains were also found at the venue, which the Tanaan District Coroner has identified as belonging to a Blackrock orc named Ariok, son of Eitrigg. Ariok’s cause of death has been recorded as a severe overdose of organic kale milkshake, which was being poured from the ceiling at the time. When asked how an organic kale milkshake could leave nothing left of Ariok’s corpse except for a bleached skeleton, Hellfire authorities replied that it may have been a severe allergic reaction.
Heroic Kilrogg Deadeye (Sunday 2 August 2015)